Ten ways to survive deployment.

1. Make friends. Even just one.

 Sounds easy, especially since we really are all living along the same lives. The reality is that finding a friend that you can just relax with is much easier when you are young. I find it important though to at least have a contact, so you do not feel so alone. This also helps in case an emergency arises, you have a somewhat of a support system that you can call on.

2. Do not argue with your spouse over petty issues.

Although you are living apart, the reality is, you are still married. There are going to be disagreements, and times when emotions run high. My husband and I have our moments, but once it is over, we move on. Apologies are important, but not holding grudges are much more important. Just remember the situation you are both in and remind yourself that you both are going through this together, so work as a team.

3. Find a hobby.

Whether you have children or not, there will be times when you need time to yourself. Finding a hobby that you enjoy is a great way to disconnect from reality for a bit, and just have time alone. Do not feel as though you need to spend tons of money attempting to build up a hobby. Just find something you enjoy, and make time to accomplish it. I have found that I enjoy going to thrift stores and trying to find old tables that I can fix up and try to make use of. It gets me out of the house, and the kids even enjoy helping out.

4. Talk to strangers.

 I know what you are thinking, STRANGER DANGER!

Okay, maybe that was not exactly what you are thinking, but either way this one is important. Whether you are in the grocery store or out for a walk, say hello to those around you. Engage in conversation. This leaves your soul feeling good for just being polite, and in a way reminds you that you are all here for the same reasons.

5. Get involved.

 I get told a lot how hard it must be to be in a place with my husband deployed, no family, and three children. I may feel differently about this if my children were different people, but I feel as though it must be much tougher being a spouse with no children. Lonely. So get involved, whether you have children or not.

Those of us with children need to remember that they are our biggest support group. They are dealing with the same issues as we are, they just do not express it in the same way. So get involved with them. Play house, be the school teacher, even get into a food fight. Let them know that they are not alone on this emotional journey, and allow yourself to let go and bring out your inner child.

Those who do not have children, take this opportunity to get involved in other ways. The Army and usually the towns surrounding the post offer different types of groups to join at little or no cost. Anything from learning how to cook, to bird watching. I say join one, or just try a different one out each week. This will keep you busy, and allow you to meet others in a social setting.

If a group is not really your thing, then think about joining a gym. Again gyms on post are free. So take advantage and use their equipment. This gives you a great time to just think without distractions. Amazingly getting physically healthy helps with your mental happiness also, so I see no downside to this one.

6. Redecorate your house.

There is something I find therapeutic about change. At least when it comes to my living room. I can not count the times I have moved my living room around. This adds a change to your life that is refreshing and does not cause a huge deal of stress. Not to mention it really is good exercise. So do not be afraid to change things up from time to time. Do not feel as though you have to stop at your living room either. My bed has been on every wall in my bedroom, as have my children's.

 7. Put money up for a special treat when your spouse returns.

Our family really enjoys taking weekend trips. So for us we are putting money up to take a long weekend away to spend in a hotel. It does not have to be anything extravagant, just something that you normally do not get to do otherwise. Another idea, is to save for something that the family can have all together. When my husband returns he is purchasing new bikes for everyone. Not only is this exciting for us, but also gives us something wonderful to do as a family on the weekends. So talk to your spouse, think of something fun, maybe out of the ordinary that you would both like to do. Then start putting money up every pay check, it adds up fast, and will get you excited about something extra.

8. Do charity work.

 I know I have brought up just feeling good about yourself a couple times already, but what is so wrong with that? Charity work is great way to help others out, and feel good about what you are doing. There are so many things in the community that you can lend a hand with. A great option is volunteering for the USO. Many soldiers, and families are helped out through the USO, it is a win win. Now for me it is difficult with having children to give my time to an organization. So I like to donate clothing or food to others that may not be able to afford it otherwise. My children have also gotten involved, by donating their toys. It may not seem like much, but to families that do not always have things like this is means a lot. And as I mentioned before, it just makes you feel good, leaving less time to be sad during deployment.

9. Do not take life to serious.

This sometimes is a tough one, in a situation like this. Although separation and the worries of what's to come is always lingering, it is important to just learn to laugh. I worry a lot about what others are thinking when I do certain things. Am I making a fool of  myself? Do they think I am just being ridiculous? Then there comes a time, when you need to just let it go, do not worry what others think. By all means, dance with the man on the corner playing his guitar. Run through the sprinkler with your children. Get your face painted at the carnival. At the end of the day it does not matter what others think, it matters that you are living life to fullest, by just being happy.

10. It is okay to cry.

 I know this in a way goes against what I said before, about just being happy. There is no denying though that life in general is tough. So although taking time to be happy and silly at times is great, it is also great to cry. You are going to have days that just seem sad, lonely, or maybe just not right.It is normal. I was told at a meeting that you may feel okay one minute, then out of no where burst into tears. I thought, right, I won’t cry just anywhere. Low and behold, I have. I have started to cry in the grocery store, at the doctors, and even at my daughters school. I do not think we realize all that is on our minds. Between everyday life, and all the extras that you are taking on alone, it takes a toll on you. So do not be afraid to cry, even if that means holding it until the kids are asleep and you are just alone. Get it out.

In the end, do not forget that although at times it seems as though this deployment is going to take forever, or you just can not do it on your own. Just remember that you are never alone, thousands of people are in the same situation as you. And when the time starts to close in on the end of the deployment you will be amazed at how fast it truly went. So let go, live life, and be proud to be the spouse of a Hero.