The man I am proud of.

It has been nearly a month that we have been whole again. It still does not seem quite real that he is not leaving right away again.

When it comes to the children it is as if time just lapsed over the whole experience and he never had left. Other than my husband having extra little bodies stuck to his legs, we have all fallen into a great, somewhat normal, routine.

As of now he is on leave so he has been home for nearly two weeks now. Although I love it, I am curious to see how things will go once he goes back to work. It seems as though every time my husband leaves the house the kids worry the entire time if he is coming back. I understand it is normal, and they are just children, but it does not make it any easier to see. I pray that for the kids’ sake we do not have to live through another deployment, although we probably will, I hope it goes as smooth as the last. I think there will be a lot more broken hearts come the next time he leaves again.

When I sit and watch the love that the children have for their dad, or vice versa, it breaks my heart to think of those that were not so lucky. The families whose parent did not make it home, and those families that have heartbreak in their future. Military or not to lose a parent, especially as a child, is something that saddens me to think about.

I thank God every day for bringing my husband home safe. And I pray that in the years to come, he repeat his gift. I also cannot help but thank him for blessing us with a man as wonderful as him. A wonderful husband and a great father. He is a man that protects us, and will stand in front to make sure we are safe. He is a man that gives hugs and kisses when knees are accidentally scraped. He is a man that in a battle I would want to be on my side. And he is a man that cares for his children more than he will ever care for himself. I do not know why I was blessed with this man in my life, but I am thankful for it nonetheless. It warms my heart to think that my sons have him as a role model, and will hopefully strive to fill their father’s shoes. I love to think that my daughter has a dad that she sees as a respectful man, the type of man that she will be blessed with later in life.

I have stated before that I am a very patriotic person, military or not. At this point in my life, I cannot begin to explain how proud I am to be the wife of a soldier like I him. I am proud of the sacrifices that I am not sure I myself would make. I am proud of the soldiers he has helped to become as strong as him. I am proud of the morals he is teaching our children. I am proud that I am sitting here with this man to be proud of.

**I just want to say thank you to all of you that are sticking with me and reading my blogs. Sometimes I find myself lost of what to say, but I appreciate that you are letting me tell the story of our crazy military life. **

Say hello to a stranger.

I know I have touched base on this topic in other blogs before this one, but today it is weighing heavy on my heart once more.

I have bad days; days that I want nothing to do with anyone outside of my home. Days that I just wish I could walk through the store and be invisible, so that I could get what I need without being bothered. I have days that I have mean thoughts run through my head, and maybe for no apparent reason. Sometimes I have days that I want to shut down and just surrender to the world, let it keep walking all over me.

Today is one of those days. Now sometimes these days just show up at my front door unexpectedly and just will not go away. Unfortunately today is a case of being in the path of someone who shows no remorse for others. Now before you think I am being hypocritical, this person is this way on a daily basis. Walking in a path of fire, and not caring who gets burned along the way. I am not going to sit and complain about this one certain person, but instead try and have those types understand what they truly do to others around them.

I have worked many different jobs, in many different types of fields. One thing that never changed was the fact of being courteous to those you are serving. I am finding it hard anymore to walk into McDonalds and get a nice welcome. When I take my children to the doctor’s office I do not even see the eyes of the receptionist, since they will not look up. I have even dealt with caregivers who are nothing of what their job titles portray.

Jobs are hard to come by these days, and I believe that every job is important. So what is it that makes us go to work and treat others this way, and not just work, but everyday life. It seems as though more and more it is much more than one just have a bad day, but that every day is a time to hurt others.

I worked at a dental office for a few years, and we dealt with all types of patients. Some that we saw more than once were from the mental health facility down the road. When they came in they each had a caregiver assigned to them. The sad case was that only one time did I see a worker with them that actually seemed to care. One of the hardest times for me was when a couple patients came in for front teeth extractions. As we moved along with the procedure I explained all the details to the patients. That was when the caregiver stated to me that he does not understand anything and to stop explaining it to him. Now I do not care if you are blind and deaf and have your head cut off. You are physically in front of me breathing, moving; living. Acting as though someone may not have feelings, or understand just because they are in a different state of mind then me or you is absurd. And how dare you work in a field of caring for people, when you clearly do not care at all.

These are situations that break my heart.

I was sitting in church one day, when the pastor stated that as Christians we do not need to go door to door and hand out pamphlets, or try and convert others. We simply live our life as God would want us to. Leading by example. Show others how being kind and respectful of others around you is a great way of living. Now I am not saying that Christians are the only ones that act this way, or that other religions are wrong; to be honest, I do not think that you need to be religious to just be kind. What do you gain from hurting others, whether it be physical or emotional? What do you gain from walking by someone who needs help, just because you do not feel like taking the time?

I know I am not innocent of treating others wrong in my life, but I have learned from my experiences and I have learned from having others hurt me also. As you go through the rest of this week, think about the way you look at others, the way you speak to others. Smile, take an extra breath and say hello to a stranger. If you are upset with someone, make a mends. What are you gaining by being angry? And why live your life unhappy. Because at the end of the day, even if you have hurt just one person or have made just one person unhappy, it is one person too many.

Silent understanding

It is 8:36 p.m. the kids and I are driving around post just wasting time. The entire day has drug by and now it seems as though the minutes are frozen. We have circled the base, not really going anywhere in particular at the moment.

It is now 8:50, and I have decided it is time to finally make our way to our destination. As I pull up a soldier directs me to a parking lot that seems to be in the middle of nowhere. I quickly jump out and get the kids so that I can make sure and catch a couple strangers walking by. I ask if they know where they are going, thankfully they do, and we head towards a building with more soldiers standing outside directing us where to go. The kids and I walk in, and realize that there are already tons of people waiting. We take a seat and enter a new series of anticipation.

Surprisingly the time doesn’t seem to be moving too slow at this point. The children located the snack room and fill up on cookies and juice. The minutes turned into hours, and before we knew it the ceremony is about to begin. Little did I know this was when everything would come to a halt.  They announced that everything would begin in approximately ten minutes, longest ten minutes of my life.

I had not been nervous about anything that was happening, and I was to my surprise very calm. The time had come. Soldier after soldier entered the building lining up into formation. There he was, our soldier, our daddy, our husband. There were over one hundred soldiers, so it seemed as though it took forever for us to be able hold him. The kids had looks on their faces that only military families know about. Priceless looks that somehow understand that it is over, dad is here to stay for a while.

Once they were released from formation, the calm of the crowd was gone and all of a sudden it was a mad dash to find and hug your soldier. We chose at that point to just stay put and let him come to us. He grabbed the older two in a nice swoop, and hugged that year long hug they all had been dreaming about. The baby was next, who did not want to stop hugging and kissing his dad. The dad that has missed too many mile stones of his life, and yet he holds no grudge, because there is a silent understanding.

This is the moment you think you understand, but until you live it you will never fully grasp the true emotions. It is hard to describe, unreal, like a movie, and very very emotional. I can only imagine what it is like for the soldiers themselves to finally be back in their family’s arms.

It has been a few days now that we have been whole again, I am waiting for the day to hit that this does not seem like a dream. I feel as though he will be taking off again, any day now to head back to Iraq. His second home. We will be saying goodbyes again before we know it for training and what not, but nothing compared to this last goodbye.

I thank every service man and woman for giving their time, and lives to serve. To the families that stay home and make sure that they have a home to come back to. And especially to the children, the ones who do not fully understand the extent that they have given up so that they may also live the military life. They are true heroes themselves.