She is proud that she can be here when he walks through that door.

I would like you to meet a woman that I have met recently. She is a fellow Army wife, and a wonderful woman. I had her answer some questions for me and have put them into a blog for all of you to read.

Her name is Dawn Honsky, and she is from Poughkeepsie, New York. She has three beautiful girls, Kaylee 14, Alexandria 4, and Olivia 1. She has been a military spouse for six years. Her husband has served both in the Army and Marine Corps.

Dawn’s husband has been deployed now to Afghanistan for 8 months, and she is reaching the end of the deployment journey. This is the point that things start to get hard. Many soldiers have lost their lives where he is at, and even in the unit he is with. As she nears the end, she says that she worries more and more about her husband returning safely. Dawn fears that her story will turn into one with the finish line so close, but it is taken from their grasps in an instant.

Many of the questions that come to mind when I think of having the ability to read the mind of a military spouse, is whether or not we are truly different from the outside world. Whether or not military families and civilians are really all that different. I asked Dawn if she felt as though there was a big difference between military families and civilian families. The way of life is different she exclaimed, civilians try to compare themselves, but the emotional side is hard to understand. Civilian families will never fully understand the emotional toll that living this lifestyle truly takes. Dawn’s oldest daughter, Kaylee, understands the situation much more than the younger girls. When she senses her mom is worried about her dad she keeps her feelings to herself, as teenagers often do. Alexandria, her middle child, is having the toughest time of them all. She is daddy’s little girl, and having him taken away for a year is hard for her to understand, but if she senses mommy is feeling down she tries to lift her spirits as a four year old can do. Olivia, the youngest is just a doll. She is at an age that she cannot truly understand why this man is in and out. Although with Dawn and her husband’s patriotic ways she will grow up, as they all will, with the utmost respect for any and all military.

I asked Dawn what she misses the most about living a more ‘stable’ lifestyle, she said one of the things she misses most is having her true support systems with her. Her friends and family from back home. At times when emotions run high, and any military spouse can understand that can be at any time, she finds it easiest to just block it out and try and move on with her day and stay strong for her children. Without that normal stable support system, military spouses have to deal with situations that those in the civilian lifestyles may not understand.

The reality of it is that moments cross our minds when you think that this may not be a forever gig; I am not talking about the fact of not re-enlisting, or retiring from service. A moment for Dawn that really made this set in was when she and her husband had to fill out their will in testament before he deployed. It puts life into perspective that planning for the future is not always a guarentee.

While home visiting family and friends this past summer, she thought to herself that if, “God forbid”, something happen to her husband would this be where she would be? Would anyone ever marry a woman who has three children and the love of her life taken by the hands of freedom? Dawn would never in a normal situation think about a life without her husband, but when you are in the military and 'til death do us part' comes sooner than expected sometimes the thoughts cross your mind, the what ifs. The truth of it is she says, is that she walks by her window every morning praying that she will never see those three men standing at her door, “I dread having my doorbell ring”, she says.  Dawn, as many do, hope that their 'what ifs' will never be answered.

As Dawn and I sat at her dining room table, discussing the questions that I had prepared for her, I could not help but notice all of her Marine Corps pictures and such on the wall behind her. It is hard not to look at anything patriotic, but you can tell it was placed on these walls with pride. She answered my thoughts when I asked if there was a way, or anything that she could say that portrayed her feelings toward her husband and the things that he has accomplished in his career. It was simple, display his life. His military life is something that her husband keeps quiet about; he does not feel as though he has done anything special or needs to be validated in any way. This is Dawn’s silent way of saying thank you; letting her husband and all that walk through the door of her home know that this is the house of a hero. It will grow larger and larger as his Army career grows, as she is proud of him no matter what uniform he walks through that door in. Just as long as at the end of this journey he does in fact, walk through that door.

His name is Chris Honsky, he is from Gouverneur, New York. He is a Sergeant in the United States Army, and between the Army and Marines he has almost 15 years of honorable military experience. He serves with pride and will always live the lifestyle of a Marine. He has a wonderful family that is more proud of him than any I have met so far. Chris has a wife who stays strong when she may feel broken, and children who will forever have a hero.

Dawn is a strong woman, wife, and mother. I appreciate her letting me dig into her head and share just a tiny piece of her life story. I thank her husband for his services, and pray for his safe return.

The world we all share.

Sometimes I wonder how exactly we got to this point in our lives. Going from living in a small town with family all around us, to this. Sometimes I wonder why we have put ourselves, and our children into a lifestyle that is nothing if not inconsistent. And then sometimes I wonder how we have been so blessed to be in this position. How many civilian families get to live the way that we do. I am not speaking money terms either, do not get me wrong we have a paycheck coming in, but we are nowhere near making the big bucks.

What I am talking about is the emotional side of the military life. There are many difficult emotions that families such as ours have to deal with. Children go long periods of time without two parents, and some even without either. Spouses have to try and keep it together living thousands of miles apart. And sometimes there has to be that explanation of why our loved ones will never be seen again. The list could go on and on. Right now though, I am talking about the wonderful emotions.

It is not easy having your loved one gone for months at a time, and sometimes to places that you are not sure if they will come back from. But nobody understands the blessing that we have from being reunited. There really is no way for me to even describe it, no words can get anywhere near the feeling. Then there is the feeling of pride. My husband has done some pretty amazing things, and will do so many more before this journey is over. We are able to see places that we would have never even dreamed of seeing. Places that I did not even know existed. There are relationships that you build with other families that are like none other. There is an understanding that is not normally vocalized, but is always present.

Sometimes I sit and think about how nice it would be to just have my husband home every night. I think about being able to buy a house that we will live in forever. And not having to worry about my children losing their father in an instant. Then just as easily as those thoughts cross my mind I am reminded that this is the life that we have been led into, and I would not change it for anything in the world.

Do not get me wrong, I understand that the military is not the only lifestyle that lives with situation such as these, but this is just the one I am in. I also understand that there are situations that people are living that are much worse than anything I will ever experience. My heart goes out to all of people that have endured heartache in their lives.

Maybe tonight as you settle down, just look around at the things that you have. The blessings you have been given. If you have dealt, or are dealing with troubled times, just know that it truly does make you stronger. And do not for a minute ever think that you are alone, we all have things under the surface that connects us to the world we all share.