The Deployment Journey For The Spouse

I have been seeing a lot of posts via the internet about military spouses having a tough time making it through deployments, and their deployments have just begun. Many of these women are virgins of the deployment, but some are in fact veterans.

Months ago I wrote a blog and made a comment stating how fast you get used to being alone, it really is unnerving. Now I understand that we are all different and events effect us all differently. I underestimated the magnitude to which the numbers of the dramatic effects go.

Doctors are diagnosing military wives with PTSD, being left alone being the traumatic part. I am not saying that this is not correct, or that wives are being a bit too emotional. What I am sayting is that here is a perfect time to step back, look at your life, and do what we preach to our military members everyday... get help. Do not wait until your spouse returns and then realize that you indeed are not getting better, get the help that you need before you need it. There are many programs set in place by the military to help spouses get through these tough times. This of course is if you can get out of bed, or off the couch to do so.

Try and take some of the emotional times and turn them into something special, here are some examples:

You just spent the past two days moping around - You just spent the past two days doing something you would not do if your husband was home... you were lazy!

You are spending the holidays alone - These are great times to reflect on what you truly have, if you have children this is a great time to talk to them about what is truly special in life. If you are invited to spend them with a friend's family, really contemplate it, it could be fun.

Your car broke down - Trust me, seems as though it always happens when your spouse is gone! If it is something simple, try to learn how to fix it yourself. There is nothing more powerful then know YOU could do it.

You cry.. a lot - Great, let it out! I have said before that you always know a military spouse when they cry in the grocery store. It is okay to cry, these are good times to remind yourself what you are going through, and how strong you have been.

I understand that these are easier said than done, but try. Try to get up today and go see something that you have not yet seen. If you have one head over to the USO office and see what activities that they are hosting. See what the surrounding areas are doing, with a military post nearby there are usually many different things to see and do. DO NOT be afraid to talk to a doctor, remember your other half is gone. The person that you normally share things with is gone, so do not hesitate to talk to someone else.

The most important thing to remember is that after today there is tomorrow, and so on. Before you know it you will be half way done, and soon it will be over. It may not seem like it right now, but it will all be a memory soon. Do not beat yourself up too bad, this is a deployment for your spouse and a journey for you!