Lessons learned, and tears dried.

You know those days that you think things could not get any better? Those days that at a point you cannot believe you have been blessed for such a moment. We have all had those days, some more than others, but they have been there.

I understand that it is impossible to go through life living day after day as though it could not get any better. We all have our days, days that we feel our shoulders are heavy with burdens. Sometimes we feel as though everyone around us is watching with eyes wide open, just waiting for the next move. Sometimes when these days hit it is hard to get back up. Maybe you feel as though that ever so blessed moment you had before will not return. Maybe you feel as though you do not deserve moments in life that take your breath away.

We all lead different lives, and react to situations differently. The older I get the more I am learning that life is what WE make of it.

I live down the street from a church on post. There are many activities and meetings held by the Army at the church. Another thing, as at many churches, that are held there are memorial services. It breaks my heart every time I see that church fill with soldiers for the reasons that we as military families pray to never deal with. Death. Many of the soldiers killed are very young and either have young children at home, or maybe have not even had the chance to begin a family of their own yet.

These moments have a way of slapping me in the face. Moments like these force me to step outside of myself and look deeply into the life that I have. Three healthy children and a family that loves and supports me. A home to come home to every night and friends to listen to me when I need. It makes it hard to stress over moments that really do not need to be stressed over. Because at the end of it all, I am alive, I get to live to see another day.

Some days I feel as though I am at war with the world. I am angry for reasons that I cannot even explain, maybe just upset at life itself. This may last all day, maybe even slide into a two day rut. What I do not understand is why you would want to go through life this way, day after day. Do not get me wrong, I know that some have health issues that make being happy a hard thing; but to the rest of us let us put it into perspective.

Look around you as you sit and read this. Do you have even just one person in your life that you love more than yourself? Do you have clean clothes on your back? (Answer yes if your clothes are dirty by choice.) Did you have a meal today? Have you had the pleasure of having a breath taking moment?

Sometimes we need a reminder that everyday has something in it that we should feel lucky to have lived. Some families have lost loved ones, just like those of the memorials that I have witnessed far too many of. I cannot explain why some deal with issues that are out of their hands and so heavy on their hearts. I cannot explain why as I sit here and write this someone is losing their life. I cannot even explain to you why I have been given the right to voice my opinions. What I can explain is that we are all living our lives, day by day, moment by moment. We will have things that happen in our lives that we cannot erase or find a reason to be happy. But there is tomorrow. Take those moments and use them for your new today. Lessons learned, and tears dried.

There is no reason to wake up every moment of your life and not live to the full extent of your day. My heart goes out to the families that have lost loved ones, military or not. And I hope that someday, if you have not already, you get your day that you feel it could not get any better. And remember, do not hold grudges and make sure that you say the things to those that you love and care about. We never know when they will be gone, and we too have to struggle to get those happy moments back.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

Going through life is an adventure in itself. There are always going to be situations that arise that you cannot control. One though that I cannot seem to get past is bullying. Children cannot go to school without having to deal with this, and from what I am finding is it does not stop as an adult.

I get that children are going to pick and prod at each other. That they are going to see how far they can push someone’s buttons. As parents though I think we need to really push our children to understand that it does hurt, even if it is not physical. My children are still young enough that it upsets them, but they still want to be friends. And no matter what, unless being physically attacked, I try to have them understand that they need to just be nice. Lead by example, and always stand up for those who are at the other end of the bullying.

The part I cannot figure out though is that once we get past these stages of kids just being kids, it continues into teenage years, and even into adulthood. So whose fault is it? The parents? The children themselves? The world around them? 

I do feel that as parents we are their biggest advocates. We are who they are to listen and learn from. And if it is the children themselves, then we need to stop it at the source. Be aware of what is going on in the world around them. Children are blind to a lot, and yet go through life with eyes wide open, seeing everything. My opinion, is the television shows they watch, the video games that they play, and the things they surf on the internet has a lot to do with them making decisions. 

I am taking this next section from the website, bullyingstatistics.org, to help better understand what exactly we are dealing with:

What is bullying?

Bullying includes behaviors that focus on making someone else feel inadequate, or focus on belittling someone else. Bullying includes harassment, physical harm, repeatedly demeaning speech and efforts to ostracize another person. Bullying is active, and is done with the intention of bringing another person down. It is important to realize that there are different kinds of bullying:

• Physical Bullying: This is the most obvious form of bullying. In this type of bullying, the instigator attempts to physically dominate another teen. This usually includes kicking, punching and other physically harmful activities, designed to instill fear in the one bullied, and possible coerce him or her to do something.
• Verbal Bullying: When someone verbally bullies another, he or she uses demeaning language to tear down another’s self-image. Bullies who use verbal techniques excessively tease others, say belittling things and use a great deal of sarcasm with the intent to hurt the other person’s feelings or humiliate the other teen in front of others.
• Emotional: This is even more subtle than verbal bullying. Teenage bullying that includes emotional methods aims at getting someone else to feel isolated, alone and may even prompt depression. This type of bullying is designed to get others to ostracize the person being bullied.
• Cyber Bullying: Electronic bullying is becoming a very real problem for teens. This type of bullying uses instant messaging, cell phone text messages and online social networks to humiliate and embarrass others. This can be especially devastating to the people being bullied, since they cannot even find a safe place in the virtual world.

So where do we go from here? How do we figure out a way to end this? I am a huge believer that our children are whom we mold them to be. Do not get me wrong, I did not mold my son to scream in the grocery store, or my daughter to pick her wedgies in public. But at the end of the day though, they are taught to just be good children. Treat others as you want to be treated. I do understand that there are some that are going to go their own ways. I am sure rapist and murderer’s parents did not raise them to become monsters, at least not most of them. 

I was totally unaware though that when we are adults, dealing with our children having bullies, that we will be dealing with adult bullies. Those that treat others as if they are on a higher scale, those who talk behind others backs, those who try to cause problems just for something to do. It is sad really. I do not think as adults we should have to worry about one another being nice to each other. After all we are adults correct? 

Our children are watching us, they see the things we do at all moments. So be aware of how you are treating others, be aware what you are saying about others. Talk to your children tonight, no matter how young or old, and explain that they would not want to be the one on the other end of the bully stick. Ask them if they feel as though they are being bullied. Just stay alert and informed, and somehow we can work together to end bullying on all accounts.  And just remember; treat others as you want to be treated.

27.3 Hours

We are so close to this deployment being over. So close I can literally stretch my arms out and reach the finish line. Well not literally, but it sure seems like I should be able to. 

This deployment for the most part has gone extremely smooth. The time seems to have flown by looking back on it, but now that it is coming to an end I cannot figure out why the days have gotten so long. We went from somehow having 24 hour days, to now feeling like the days are taking 27.3 hours. .3 added on for the lack of sleep I am getting due to my extreme excitement. 

The kids and I have been so busy lately that I feel like I am going a million different directions. School, after school activities, sports, and errands. I get home and I feel like I am going to collapse, but we have to get dinner ate and homework done. Not to mention it is only 4:30. REALLY. I just crammed all of this into my day and it is not even dinner time! 

I love my children, but it seems like anymore their bedtime is 12 hours away from just the time I pick my daughter up from school. 

Once the day finally comes to an end, and I have my alone time, I crawl into bed and wonder if I will even be able to get covered before I pass out. Then before I know it, an hour has passed and I am still laying there. So tired I think, so I close my eyes. Once again I cannot figure out why I am just laying here thinking about how tired I am, instead of just sleeping. So I watch T.V., have a midnight snack, play with the dog, do some writing, and then lay. Just lay. This is where the .3 of my 27.3 hour day comes into play, it seems as though this time of my day is just a waste of being awake. I know it is just the excitement of waiting for my husband’s arrival, but this is really getting to be just a pain. I do not know who is controlling the hours of the days, but I would appreciate shorter days right now. Save the 27.3 hour days for when we are a whole family once again.

I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels for the soldiers away from home. I know that at the end of the deployment the time for them gets busy but at the end of the day, or a very long night, they are still on the other side of the world. Away from their friends and their families, living in danger, going with much less sleep then I could ever imagine for myself. 

We have been blessed to be able to have contact with my husband, once a week or at least every two weeks we get to see him on Skype. If I have a question that I need answered I can email him, and most likely have an answer within a day. So I tip my deployment hat to the families that do not have this luxury, because that is truly what it is, a luxury. 

It is a bittersweet feeling really. I am tired from the lack of sleep, and frustrated at times with the clock moving so slow. The truth is though, at the end of the day, I am alive, and healthy. We do get to see our soldier from time to time. In all I am a proud Army wife that I am lucky enough to have a 27.3 hour day.

10 Years

I have been sitting in front of this computer on and off for a week and a half now. This is the first time I have even attempted to write this blog. Nothing about September 11th is easy, and writing about it is just an emotional ride.

10 years ago today I was in a car on my way home from a vocational school, when the driver received a life changing phone call. "A plane just crashed into one of the towers!", that is what I was told. I was confused by exactly what that meant, or even what "the tower" was. Within a few minutes I was home and rushed to the television. The second plane had just hit, and I needed to sit down. I was young, a Junior in high school,  but this was something that hit me hard. If you have read any of my previous blogs you will quickly learn that I am a patriotic person, and have been since far before becoming an Army wife.

I was so sad sitting there watching the smoke, watching the fire, and then watching as people were jumping from the buildings. Then I was angry. Who would do something like this, who was heartless enough to take the lives of so many others. It seemed as though the day would never end. Reports of the towers falling, the Pentagon had been hit, and then Flight 93 crashing near Shanksville, Pennsylvania. What was next that day. What was next for the United States for the years to come?

As I went into my regular school it was a very somber feeling. Everyone was quiet, confused I guess. The principal was not allowing us to watch it on the televisions (although some teachers did). At the end of the school day the Lee Greenwood song, 'Proud to be an American' rang out through the school speakers. Little did I know at that point in my life, how much this day would effect the rest of my life, and my fellow Americans.

It is surprisingly hard to get an exact count of the lives lost that day, all say close to 3,000, but differ from number to number. Either way, even if it was just one life lost, it was one life too many.

One thing that I can say my children will know from that day, is the way that the United States came together in the weeks to follow. Flags flew, signs were posted, ribbons were tied on trees. It was as if we all had a connection to the ones lost that day.

I am not going to get into a huge political tirade on here, because we know that emotions run high when it comes to that topic. What I will say is that I do not like war, I do not like seeing soldiers, and civilians at that, losing their lives in such horrific ways. With that said, I 100% stand behind this war. We are the United States, we are strong, and I believe with all my heart that we needed to fight back. Unfortunalty I do not feel as though any of this will ever end, terrorism wise at least. But I am proud to say that I am an American, that my husband is fighting for this war, and that thousands of troops have given their lives for the thousands that lost their lives on the day that changed the future of this country. God Bless America, and those fighting for our freedom.