Treat others as you want to be treated.

Going through life is an adventure in itself. There are always going to be situations that arise that you cannot control. One though that I cannot seem to get past is bullying. Children cannot go to school without having to deal with this, and from what I am finding is it does not stop as an adult.

I get that children are going to pick and prod at each other. That they are going to see how far they can push someone’s buttons. As parents though I think we need to really push our children to understand that it does hurt, even if it is not physical. My children are still young enough that it upsets them, but they still want to be friends. And no matter what, unless being physically attacked, I try to have them understand that they need to just be nice. Lead by example, and always stand up for those who are at the other end of the bullying.

The part I cannot figure out though is that once we get past these stages of kids just being kids, it continues into teenage years, and even into adulthood. So whose fault is it? The parents? The children themselves? The world around them? 

I do feel that as parents we are their biggest advocates. We are who they are to listen and learn from. And if it is the children themselves, then we need to stop it at the source. Be aware of what is going on in the world around them. Children are blind to a lot, and yet go through life with eyes wide open, seeing everything. My opinion, is the television shows they watch, the video games that they play, and the things they surf on the internet has a lot to do with them making decisions. 

I am taking this next section from the website, bullyingstatistics.org, to help better understand what exactly we are dealing with:

What is bullying?

Bullying includes behaviors that focus on making someone else feel inadequate, or focus on belittling someone else. Bullying includes harassment, physical harm, repeatedly demeaning speech and efforts to ostracize another person. Bullying is active, and is done with the intention of bringing another person down. It is important to realize that there are different kinds of bullying:

• Physical Bullying: This is the most obvious form of bullying. In this type of bullying, the instigator attempts to physically dominate another teen. This usually includes kicking, punching and other physically harmful activities, designed to instill fear in the one bullied, and possible coerce him or her to do something.
• Verbal Bullying: When someone verbally bullies another, he or she uses demeaning language to tear down another’s self-image. Bullies who use verbal techniques excessively tease others, say belittling things and use a great deal of sarcasm with the intent to hurt the other person’s feelings or humiliate the other teen in front of others.
• Emotional: This is even more subtle than verbal bullying. Teenage bullying that includes emotional methods aims at getting someone else to feel isolated, alone and may even prompt depression. This type of bullying is designed to get others to ostracize the person being bullied.
• Cyber Bullying: Electronic bullying is becoming a very real problem for teens. This type of bullying uses instant messaging, cell phone text messages and online social networks to humiliate and embarrass others. This can be especially devastating to the people being bullied, since they cannot even find a safe place in the virtual world.

So where do we go from here? How do we figure out a way to end this? I am a huge believer that our children are whom we mold them to be. Do not get me wrong, I did not mold my son to scream in the grocery store, or my daughter to pick her wedgies in public. But at the end of the day though, they are taught to just be good children. Treat others as you want to be treated. I do understand that there are some that are going to go their own ways. I am sure rapist and murderer’s parents did not raise them to become monsters, at least not most of them. 

I was totally unaware though that when we are adults, dealing with our children having bullies, that we will be dealing with adult bullies. Those that treat others as if they are on a higher scale, those who talk behind others backs, those who try to cause problems just for something to do. It is sad really. I do not think as adults we should have to worry about one another being nice to each other. After all we are adults correct? 

Our children are watching us, they see the things we do at all moments. So be aware of how you are treating others, be aware what you are saying about others. Talk to your children tonight, no matter how young or old, and explain that they would not want to be the one on the other end of the bully stick. Ask them if they feel as though they are being bullied. Just stay alert and informed, and somehow we can work together to end bullying on all accounts.  And just remember; treat others as you want to be treated.