It seems as though my husband just got home from his 12 month deployment to Iraq, and now we are preparing for 15 months in Korea. I am not sad, but I am bummed. We still have six months until he actually leaves, two of which he will be gone for schooling, so we will say four months. But now that the transportation is being scheduled, and the discussions of what will be taken with him are being had I cannot help but think of all of the things he is going to miss once again.
Last years Halloween was the second one he had spent with our daughter, she is eight. The birthdays that he missed will be missed again this year, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Groundhogs day, Grandparents day, Secretaries day and more. Alright, half of those are not important, nor could I tell you the dates of them. For my children though my heart hurts a bit at the fact that he will not be here.
I am so very thankful though for technology right now, Skype of course is our way of communication when he is away, and I fully understand that many do not have that blessing. And of course the fact that he will be in Korea and not Afghanistan is weight lifted off of my shoulders, and although he is not happy that he will not be doing a tour in Afghanistan I cannot help but be thankful.
The biggest difference this time around is I will be moving home. Due to some complications out of my control I will be leaving my amazing new home and moving closer to my family. I am getting excited about seeing everyone and being able to have the support, but as any military wife will tell you it just is not the same.
I saw a sign the other day that read 'You know you’re a military wife when your neighbors have never met or seen your husband', that is more true than I can explain. While moving home is great, it lacks the true understanding of what it is like to see your husband two years in the past five and a half. It lacks the true understanding of a wife tearing up when she sees a dad with his children at the grocery store. It lacks the true understanding of holding your breath when you hear of helicopter crash or death of a military member on the news. For these reasons and more I will miss this home so very much.
I thank God that we have three children that are more and more flexible as the years go on. My husband and I have always said we would make the most out of any where we go and our children have followed that path. The fact of the matter is that our children are use to things being given to them and then just as quickly ripped away. At least once every two weeks one of my children will come home with frosting on their face and I will ask them if they have had yet another birthday in their class and more times than not they will answer no. The cupcakes are brought by the children on the last day they will be there. My children make friends and then lose friends, they get comfortable with a doctor and then the doctor gets reassigned, they get use to having dad home and he is gone again. And yet, they move on.
I spoke with a woman in the commissary the other day that had married her husband nine months ago and that was when she became a military spouse. Her husband was immediately assigned to Korea and she had been here with her two boys alone the whole time. She was ready for him to be home and told me that she was not cut out for the military life. Her last statement to me though I feel proved her own statement wrong. As we said goodbye and I wished her luck she said thank you and that she was one more day ahead of yesterday. That is it right there. No situation is the same, and we all cope differently, but remembering that you can never rewind or slow time down does not hurt in moments like these.
We have been grateful that my husband has spent the last year very close to home. With little training exercises and schools here on post we have not had to share him too much with the military passed his duty times. I am grateful for this.
So here is to another year apart, and to all the times we have had together in this past year. Here is to all of the other families that are much worse off than us, and to the families that will say goodbye many more times. Here is to my friends that I have made in this lifestyle that will understand more than others. And here is to the moments that have been taken away forever.
