Rules

I love this life, I love this home, I love this tradition. I am starting to think though, that I do not love the rules. I do not mean the rules that state that we cannot ride our bikes without a helmet, or a motorcycle without all of the protective gear on. I am also not speaking of the fact that we cannot park our camper in our driveway, or that we are not aloud to change the oil on our cars in our driveways. Strangely none of these bother me all that much, well maybe that camper one. Seriously, it's just a camper! (I will save that for another blog) Anyways, what does bother me is that here I am in a life that I love, and rules that really are not that bad, and yet the one that I cannot control is the one I hate the most, death.

You see all of the posts on Facebook with the photos of the wife at the graveside and the transparent soldier holding her, or the child receiving the flag at his fathers funeral. We all look and get sad, sometimes shed a tear, but that is about as far as it goes. I was reading the newspaper the other weekend, and it had pictures of families releasing balloons, all of them there for the same reason; they had lost a loved one in war. I have made mention of the many funerals that I have witnessed at the end of the street where the Chapel is, but it was not until I saw this picture that it really sank in. There were so many people, so many wives, children, mother's, father's, husband, and friends. There have been so many lives lost not only in the hands of the enemies, but in the hearts of the families.

We as Army wives sit and wait a lot of the time. We are left alone, and here to deal with the issues of everyday life. We cry at night after the busy day is over, and we pray to ourselves that our loved ones are brought home safe. The part that I cannot wrap my head around though is that we cannot help those who have lost. The fact of the matter is that no matter how much you do for a family that has been dealt this horrific hand, the one thing they need you cannot give them. They need to know why, they need to feel the warmth of the one that was taken away, they need to be able to instil in their children why daddy is never coming home again, and the strength to not break down when the kids sob in sorrow.

I understand that we came into this lifestyle with the understanding that not everyone will come home in one piece, or at all for that matter. And for those of you that are against the war, or military, or do not appreciate those that have served I want you to read that again. We all came into this lifestyle with full understanding that you may die, your loved one may not come home, and that your children may never see one of their parents again. And yet here we are, living this lifestyle. Strange, how different it seems typing it as apposed to living it. Never would I sit and think it is all that special to live this life, and I still do not see my family as anything special in itself. And yet when I look at those families who have lost, those families that have given the ultimate sacrifice, I am set back for a moment on how real this lifestyle is.

So here I sit all sappy in my husbands chair. Maybe it is because I am tired, maybe it is because there are soldiers deploying by the handful right now, or maybe it was that picture. But I am so thankful that I have lived this lifestyle, I am so thankful that I got to experience the ups and downs, and highs and lows. I am thankful that I get to see the sorrow of the families that have lost; I do not like that they have, but I appreciate that I can understand without ignorance the true honor that it is to live beside these men and women.

I know that in the end it is God that makes the rules of why these things are happening. I also understand that those who have chose to take the lives of the innocent are those of the Devil. But I am hoping that one day, I can make a rule like those that made the rule against my camper sitting in my driveway to just bring understanding and happiness to the families of the lost.

Thank you to those who serve and have served this amazing country. And to the families that have lost, and sacrificed day after day.